Mildly Risque poems


We’ve all had our share of good sex

Now that I have your attention...

This poem and those that follow are along the lines of those in Caveat Lector, but naughty rather than filthy, and  inoffensive enough to share on this public page.

We’ve all had our share of good sex,

A pastime one seldom dissects

But I’d have to say

You are a great lay

Both as concave and convex.

You excel at whatever you do

And constantly strive to be true,

Authentic and real,

And that’s the appeal

Of an orgasm brought on by you.

It’s not often a man comes along

Who puts such a ding in my dong,

Who speaks to my heart

With every part.

How can such a feeling be wrong?


Although this poem deals with a potentially risque subject, it’s not presented in a prurient context so I thought it acceptable for the public arena.  For decency’s sake however, I eschew live illustration in favor of an assemblage that sits on atop my toilet.  The wire sculpture is by Jerry FitzGerald and the jade piece came from a flea market in Paris.  Although you can’t see it in this photo, they’re on an iridescent seashell.

Morning Wood

I happily hoist morning wood,

Although it is well understood

This engorgement tumescent

May prove evanescent

Before it has done me much good,

Except to inhibit the flow

Of urine when I have to go,

‘Cause pissing uphill

Is a difficult skill,

As most of you men out there know.


“The Meet Market”

Sometimes I don’t think it’s worth the expenses I put out to get myself laid,

But once in a while I’m rewarded so richly it justifies pains that I’ve paid.

I wish I could tell which encounters would prosper so I could save time in the sack,

‘Cause if I could wisely invest my libido, my sex life might be in the black.

Though rising inflation enhances the benefits offered by provident men,

And my solid endowment with liquid deposits have profited time and again,

I’m sorry to say that my instincts are faulty and Dick (1 beat) often leads me astray,

So tomorrow my assets will be on the market. (4 beats) Hell! (2 beats)  I’ll probably give it away!

JPK 7/16/2009

I know that the subjects of most of my poems are not all that terribly deep,

But sometime we have to allow ourselves laughter or else we all surely would weep

For love is a gift that is ours but a moment - ‘tis fleeting and not ours to keep.

If all of my poetry proves to be frivolous, this lesson’s surely not wrong:

We live in the sunshine and die in the night-time; our day is but brief as a song

And ever the sweeter if ever the shorter, although we might wish it were long.

So I sing when I can and I love when I can and I dance when the music is on,

I’d love to awaken in Honey Pi’s arms but I’m here and alas, he is gone,

So I’ll have to make merry with Tom, Dick and Harry in various ways until dawn.

JPK 7/26/2009

“Arse longa, vita brevis”

I wrote this after coming home from a memorial service.  The title is a corruption of a well-known Latin aphorism attributed to Hippocrates.